I’ve gone back and forth with this since Grant was born. I had every intention of sharing our experience with his birth with everyone before I actually went into labor. Once it was all said and done, I really fought with it a bit. Here’s why.
My birth wishes completely surrounded a natural birth – no meds, vaginal, the whole deal. It was so important to me to do it this way, for both Grant and I. Once we actually got into delivery, this unfortunately was impossible. Don’t get me wrong – I know births are anything but predictable. It ended up being completely the opposite of what I hoped for, other than the end result of a happy, healthy baby.
I ended up being induced the Wednesday after my due date. Once the pitocin started, everything changed for me. My body didn’t react well to the medicine, and 21 hours later, I was in the operating room having an emergency c-section.
So why don’t I want to share the details of everything in those 21 hours?
I have never been so scared in my life. A lot of the end of the experience is a bit fuzzy, but I can’t seem to get the image of locking eyes with Marcus as I was being wheeled out of labor and delivery out of my head. I had no idea what was really going on until he filled me in later. All I wanted to do was hold his hand, and I couldn’t do it.
The entire birth was the most personal experience Marcus and I have ever shared, and I want to keep it that way. I’m not sure what I thought it would all be like before it happened, but now that it has, I just can’t share it with the world. Of course, we’ve told friends and family anything they want to know, but as for the entire blogosphere – not this time.
I wasn’t able to see Grant after the operating room for almost 24 hours. That was the hardest part. I had the flu the weekend before his delivery, so he was in the NICU and I was on strict orders that I couldn’t see him until the next day. It ripped my heart out, but made that first meeting even more special. I will never forget being able to finally hold him for the first time.
Now, don’t think my thoughts surrounding the birth are negative – they are just much different from what I had originally expected. Grant was born on February 27th, 2014 at 11:46am as a healthy, beautiful baby boy. I am so thankful the doctors and staff at my delivering hospital were so on top of everything, and knew what to do at the drop of a hat. Those first cries really are the most beautiful thing in the world. No matter how it happened, the end result is the same – Grant is the most beautiful baby I have ever laid my eyes on, and he is mine and Marcus’ forever.
I do plan to share my experience with our amazing doula in another post – it really deserves its own write-up without a doubt. We couldn’t have done it without her. I’ll also be letting you all know about what I’m doing with exercise and eating in the coming days.
Thanks for being understanding when it comes to Grant’s birth story. I know I really like reading them when others post theirs, but I just can’t do it. If you do have any detailed questions, please reach out to me via email at foodfunrun[at]gmail[dot]com. I am more than happy to answer anything you may want to know personally.